Are you hatin' or what?

Chiiiink!, black!, ratchet!, are some of the common words that I hear everyday. Questions like "do you really eat dogs?" or "where did you learn to your English?" are some of the most frequent questions I receive from people who are trying to know more about me. Well, I can't blame them for being curious but some of this words or questions are pretty disturbing because they occur frequently from time to time and i don't know how to classify them.

 As I take my course in college which is English 115 I accidentally stumbled to the answer to my question. I learned about microaggresions, it is an indirect attack to a person's ethnicity or race that is caused by curiosity of another. There are many kinds of microaggression but to narrow it down, I would say there are two types. The first one is "conscious" where a person is trying to insult a person because of his bad mentality of that person's race or ethnicity like when Manny Pacquiao wins against a Mexican boxer, some boxing enthusiast that seems to notice that I am Filipino start a conversation with their friends saying "Filipinos get their strength by eating dog meat!" and I know they are trying to make me hear it. The more common one is "unconcious" which is most of the time sparked by curiosity this are the questions I find "disturbing" before because I don't know how to react when I come across with one like "did you come here to be a part of the navy?". Learning Microaggression really broaden my understanding of other people especially when they ask me questions about my race. I also learned to double check the question in my mind that I'm about to ask to other people before asking because they may take it differently than what I really meant. Discussing microaggression thought me how to deal with those people who tries to get on my nerves because they are immature, I don't take those people seriously anymore because in the end its not what they say that can hurt you, its always how you deal with what they say.

 I definitely recommend learning microaggression or simply learn why people do it. I definitely recommend taking a course that can go across this topic or simply reading some articles about microaggression. Learning this topic will make you a more well-rounded when it comes to this issue which will save you time and stress.

Too much Kapwa is no bueno!

The world we live in today is cruel, unfair, and unjust. Problems are all around us from small things like you lost your direction, to major ones like having no one to cry on when the whole world just start making you feel alone. Problems are just unavoidable and we all need someone to run to when we need a helping hand. Kapwa is the solution to all problems, Kapwa is a Filipino core value that means having each others back. Kapwa is applicable to everyone around you even total strangers. To make it simple, Kapwa is being selfless towards your fellow being. if you can't get what I'm trying to say then imagine yourself being in the Christmas-season-mood where you are very nice to everyone you meet that's the closest thing I can compare to Kapwa. I practice kapwa every day that it became a part of my instinct. I remember when I was a kid my parents always buy me a bunch of food when we are going to the park and play. They then let me go by myself and play with other kids and tell me "don't forget to share your food with them okay?" and I always smile and say "sure!". As a kid they thought me how to share what I have and I grew up with it.


 As I grow up 
I realized, If every single person will practice Kapwa then no one will be in deep trouble, no one will starve out of love, no one and no one will be poor. As I continue to meet other people I realized that treating someone in a selfless manner can change them. A year before we migrated here in the United States I had a friend who I treated like a real brother. I always back him up whenever he is in trouble and he backs me up too but after a while he became a liar by making up situations like "bro can you do my assignment for me? because I need to visit my friend in the hospital" or "I don't have money to buy food can you buy me some? ill take care of the food tomorrow" (but he never does) at first I turned a blind eye on him, I trusted him since he is my friend plus it is in my instinct to help. After few months of turning a blind-eye on him I started to space out from him since my Kapwa value in me will just turn him to a worse person. I learned a lot from that experience and made me realize that every great value have their own drawbacks.

 Kapwa is a strong value, you can start by sharing a seat to an old lady in the bus, or by sharing your food to your friend! I promise you that the feedback you get after doing Kapwa will make your day. just be mindful that it can also change the way people take you, especially the people close to you.

The Assassin who became a normal college student

I stabbed Five people with a knife and it felt so good!

I grew up playing online games I tried to cut it off permanently but I just cant because its a part of me. Every time I play, I feel carefree which is an awesome feeling. It felt like I am all alone in my own universe of content and happiness.

I used to be a hardcore online gamer who has no life. My daily routine is wake up, grab a bag of chips, sit on the couch all day and play gun games online. Honestly, I feel that time tend to slow down when I am not playing. It became my dope and soon led to my downfall.



 I live in a cyber world called Call of Duty where I kill a bunch of people with a knife or throwing knife while they are armed with guns!(to humiliate them of course). Also, I like pissing other gamers by talking trash to them and make them rage over the microphone which is really really funny!.

This hobby has its big drawbacks: my school grades and weight started to plummet, my eyesight became worse and I stopped spending time with my friends.

When I started attending my classes in Southwestern college I started to learn to regulate my bad habit of gaming all day. Thanks to the lessons thought by my professors about self and procrastination I don't see gaming as a "NEED" anymore now I see it as a way to break away from stress and as a way to "TREAT" myself for working hard in school.

I also met real friends in school that helped me move on from being a gamer namely Mac Bilog, Jonathan Sison, Aldrich Raguine, Aaron Canacio, and Joshua Macias. We always eat or play sports like Basketball, Football and Volleyball after class.

If you are a gamer I bet you can relate to this. I hope you guys learn from my big mistake and balance your gaming time with everything because you have a great life out there, don't waste it in front of the monitor all day, live life the way it should be.

My long lost family

This is my first year attending college here in United States. I definitely felt lost and paranoid at first because its a whole new world for me plus, I didn't have a good time on my senior year which makes entering college more intimidating for me. My previous counselor Mr. Armando Melendrez recommended me sign up for the Bayan Learning Community.

PD 100 and English 114, known as the Bayan Learning Community. I call it my extended family, This is where I can be myself, learned more about who I am, and the best place where I can grow and learn with my friends at the same time.

No matter how cool it is to be a part of Bayan, It doesn't mean we just chill every meeting. We also do many school works. The best part though is when you do them with your fellow Bayan Scholars. Most of the time, our assignments  involves teamwork which makes our bonds closer and improves the way we socialize to other people.

I feel really blessed that I am a part of this family and I will never take for granted what I've learned on this class. I've met lifetime friends and awesome professors whom I look up to. I strongly recommend these learning community to new students who wants to learn more about themselves and those who are undecided about what they want to major in. 

I cant really find enough words to describe this community, This Learning Community gave me my bearings in order to face my future and I am forever grateful for that.

Yum Yum 101

Nom nom nom! ugh ahhhhhh *burpppp*

Aye! I'm Mark, back when I was a kid my grandma and grampa  always host banquets and reunion. They raise native pigs and chickens which they butcher when we will host a feast. Grampa's specialty is Lechon , its really simple to do. just kill a pig, remove the guts, punch a bamboo from the rear end of the pig through his mouth, and lastly cook it really slow over the charcoal while carefully spinning it to cook it evenly. It takes a couple of hours before the pig gets perfectly cooked but the wait is totally worth it!. While gramps is busy with the pig grandma prepares the lumpia, pancit, sisig, and dinuguan.


A few minutes later, one by one, our relatives are coming bringing their own specialties. I remember one of my Aunt always bring Chicharon which is a best seller specially for my uncles and cousins because it goes along with beer. Before we even notice it the table is full of food like Buko pandan, Spaghetti , Adobo , Lechon Manok , Ice cream , Halo Halo, name it and we have it!. I remember chatting with my cousins and uncles while eating, we laugh at each others story like there is no tomorrow. For some weird reason the food magically taste even better while we talk.

Filipino food is a must try, if you haven't tried it you are definitely missing out a big part of your life!. I suggest that you go out there and rush to the nearest filipino food store you can find! the clock is ticking just... just go!

Untangling Identity, Self, and Personality

Who are you? Do you really know who you are?
Teenage life, the time where we are in shambles about who we are. We only care about the present and what is in front of us. We adapt to what the majority do. The point where we are most vulnerable to many influences. These influence comes from our friends, family, media that molds our identity. This is the point where we rarely checkout our self and we don't care what will be our identity.

A few weeks ago, in my english class, we discussed the difference of identity and self. We read a short article written by Catherine Latterell. She gave three assumptions that Identity is what were born with, shaped by culture, and shaped by our personal choices. According to her we all have the choice to pick the traits and opportunities that will shape our identity, at the same time there are those things about ourselves that we can't choose, they are just given to us when we where born for example : name, skin color , religion , gender.

Identity, personality, and self are three different part of us. We sometimes roll them into a giant ball and consider them as one. Always remember that Who you will be is decided by you. What you are is given to you when you where born. Lastly, You are the only one who knows who you really are, you are only one and cannot be copied.

Fist damn day in college

"This is just a dream! this is just a dream! this is just a goddamn dream!".

First day of school, the worst feeling ever! I don't know what to do and pretend it is just a bad dream but then my alarm clock wont stop ringing. I get out of my bed, crawl to the shower with a big frown on my face.

"Holy snap! what am I suppose to do now?!."
The question I have at the back of my mind at the first day of class. I feel so dumb because I don't really know what to expect in my new school. While I'm in the bus I started to compose a short speech on how am I gonna introduce myself in front of the whole class.

By the time my bus stopped in front of Southwestern College I started to breakdown! my knees started to shake! and my heart felt like a overheating piston engine!. After the bus door oppened, I instantly ran! not to my classroom but to find a restroom. Shortly after that I finally get inside my cassroom. By the time I just got my sanity back after telling myself that "I got this, it will be okay." then suddenly our professor told us to talk to our seatmate!. After that I forgot everything, all I remember is I was excited to go to school the next day.

To all freshmen who are reading this, you are called freshmen for a reason. don't look so haggard the first day of school stay fresh and everything will be alright. Just smile and say "hi" and I am sure that you will earn a friend.